Weddings and Crack
by Solstice of Life
Summary: In which Grisia is engaged, people faint, and hilarity ensures. Crack fic!
1. Chapter 1

**Warning**: The ficlet below is complete and utter crack, and not meant to be taken seriously. Characters are completely OOC. Read at your own discretion.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own LSK. Yu Wo does.

"How is it **my **fault that they all fainted?"

"You could have told them the news more gently, Grisia."

"All I did was burst in wearing a wedding dress and tell them that we were engaged!"

"_Only_ thing you did?"

"Shut up and kiss me, Lesus."

"…"

"Hey guys-**What the hell are you doing!**"

"Strawberry! Nice to see you! I forgot to tell you, Lesus and I are getting married! Strawberry? Strawberry?"

"I think he's fainted too, Grisia."

"Geez! Everyone's so sensitive these days! It not like we've been having (censored)!"

"But we hav-"

"Hi Roland!"

"…"

"Why are you wearing a wedding dress?"

"We're getting married."

"…"

"What he said! Hey, you're the first not to faint!"

"He's a death knight; I don't think it's possible for him to faint."

"Oh."

"Is it even legal for you two to get married?"

"If it's not, I'll make it legal! Or we could just elope. What do you think, Lesus?"

"I would prefer not to elope."

"Threatening people to change laws it is, then!"

"…"

"What? Hey Roland, get a bucket of water and dump it on the pope and the haoly Knights on the floor, would you?"

"Sure"

"Ugg, Why am I wet?"

"I had a nightmare that Sun burst through the roof in a wedding dress and proposed to the Judgment Knight!"

"Me too! It was so scary!"

"Why exactly are we on the floor?"

"**HOW MEAN OF YOU NOT TO INVITE PINK TO YOUR WEDDING! PINK WILL NOT FORGIVE YOU!**

"Holy God of Light! Pink? How did you get here? How did you find out about our wedding in the first place?"

"Why the hell are you in a wedding dress, Sun?"

"Pink, he just proposed 2 hours ago. We haven't even begun the guest list yet."

"Oh! Blaze! You're awake! Lesus and I are just getting married, see?

"Oh. But Pink had **better **be invited."

"Hey, guys? They fainted again."

"Oh! Ignore them, Roland."

"How the chaos god did you find out that we were engaged? Have you been stalking me?"

"Nooo…"

"Really."

"Nooo! Meanie Sun! Give me back my lollipop! Fine! I was stalking you!

"Stop, or I'll have you arrested."

"So?"

"and blacklist you from every candy and toy shop in the city."

"I'll stop! I'll stop!"

"It's against a knight's code of honour to bully a little girl, you know."

"Since when have I been a proper knight?"

"Point taken."

"Your dress is not pretty enough for a wedding. Pink must get Sun a new one!"

"What? Wait! Where are you dragging me off too? Nooo! Help! Hellllpppppp Meeeeeee!"

"Don't struggle, Sun. It's for the best!"

"Nooooooooooooooooooo!"

"So. Since everyone else fainted and Grisia was dragged off by pink, what do you want to do?"

"Spar?"

"Sure."

"Oh, I think they're waking up."

"Whatever. Let's just go."

"Okay."

"I have the feeling that something incredibly disturbing just happened."

"You know, let's just pretend that never happened."

"Okay."

**^_^ ~Fin~ ^_^**


	2. Weddings and Crack Revised!

**Warning**: The ficlet below is complete and utter crack, and not meant to be taken seriously. Characters are completely OOC. Read at your own discretion.

**Notes: **First of all, thanks to everyone who reviewed! I very much enjoyed reading your responses to my story, and they encouraged me to keep writing! This chapter here is not really new. It's just an expansion of "Weddings and Crack" that I wrote because someone mentioned that the story would be better if it weren't just dialogue. I hope you all enjoy this, and review with comments and suggestions! I also hope the quality of the writing is still up to par. ^_^ If you have ideas about the continuation of this fic, please review!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own LSK. Yu Wo does.

Grisia pouted at Lesus, uncannily resembling a large, golden, sparkly puppy with a doleful expression on its face.

"How is it **my **fault that they all fainted?"

"You could have told them the news more gently, Grisia." Although Lesus did have to admit, the sight of them fainting was pretty funny. He mentally considered what he had just thought. _Hmm. Grisia must be rubbing off on me._ Lesus reflected.

Grisia's pout intensified. "All I did was burst in wearing a wedding dress and tell them that we were engaged!"

"_Only_ thing you did?" Lesus tilted his head and raised an eyebrow, looking at Grisia quizzically.

Grisia grumbled. "Shut up and kiss me, Lesus."

"Affirmative, Knight-Captain Sun." Lesus smiled. They then proceeded to start making out. Unfortunately for Leaf's mental state, they were still making out when Leaf came in. Poor, innocent, Leaf.

"Hey guys-**What the hell are you doing!**" Leaf dropped the quiver of arrows he was holding. His eyes widened, and a fire spread to his cheeks.

Grisia, noticing that they had company, stopped what he was doing with Lesus. He greeted Leaf. "Strawberry! Nice to see you! I forgot to tell you, Lesus and I are getting married! Strawberry? Strawberry?"

"I think he's fainted too, Grisia." An undercurrent of amusement could be detected in Lesus's voice _Oh dear. _Lesus thought. _Grisia really is corrupting me. _

As if he knew what Lesus was thinking, Grisia scoffed. "Geez! Everyone's so sensitive these days! It not like we've been having (censored)!"

"But we hav-"

The rest of Lesus's words get cut off when Roland comes in. Grisia pranced over, greeting him somewhat like a hyper three-year-old on a sugar high. "Hi, Roland!"

"…" Roland was confused. "Why are you wearing a wedding dress?"

"We're getting married." Lesus pronounced solemnly. Grisia beamed at Roland.

"…" It is unknown whether Roland just didn't have anything to say, or he was struck speechless, but the end result was the same.

"What he said! Hey, you're the first not to faint!" Grisia was secretly a bit disappointed by this; seeing the others gape at him and faint was just so funny!

"He's a death knight; I don't think it's possible for him to faint." That was Lesus, ever the voice of reason, even in a crack fic. What would we do without him?

"Oh." Grisia shrugged.

Roland got over his disbelief (After all, spending any length of time with Grisia and his schemes will blow your willing suspension of disbelief right out of the water) and asked the question that had been niggling at his mind. "Is it even legal for you two to get married?"

"If it's not, I'll make it legal! Or we could just elope." Looking at Grisia's expression, Roland pitied any fool who tried to get in the way of this marriage. By the end of what Grisia would do to them, they'd probably wish they'd never have been born. "What do you think, Lesus?"

"I would prefer not to elope." said Lesus. After all, this was an important event to him.

"Threatening people to change laws it is, then!" The brilliant smile on his face was at total odds with the content of Grisia's words.

"…" Deciding to pretend he hadn't heard anything incriminating, Roland looked around, noticing the fair amount of people collapsed on the floor. "Why are the pope and the rest of the Holy Knights passed out on the floor?"

"What?" Grisia looked down, at the pile of bodies heaped on the floor. "Oh! Right! Dunno, they just started fainting when I came in." Looking at what Grisia was wearing, Roland was not surprised. "Hey, Roland, get a bucket of water and dump it on the pope and the Holy Knights on the floor, would you?"

"Sure." Obediently, Roland grabbed a bucket of water from the kitchen, ignoring the maids and cooks ogling him. He quickly returned to the 12 Holy Knights (and the pope), and dumped the water on their heads. Amid moans and groans, they started waking up.

"Ugg, Why am I wet?"

"I had a nightmare that Sun burst through the roof in a wedding dress and proposed to the Judgment Knight!"

"Me too! It was so scary!"

"Why exactly are we on the floor?"

The chatter of the recovering Holy Knights was interrupted when Pink burst in (Like, literally burst in. Through the walls and everything.) with all the brevity of an elephant on crack. The pope saw this and started crying over the amount of money it would cost to repair the walls.

"**HOW MEAN OF YOU NOT TO INVITE PINK TO YOUR WEDDING! PINK WILL NOT FORGIVE YOU!**" (You see, Pink was a fangirl and romantic at heart.)

Grisia yelped, and tried to hide behind Lesus. This was somewhat hampered by the gigantic crinoline of the dress he was wearing, which poked out from the sides Lesus in a cascade of blue velvet and lace, but he tried anyways. "Holy God of Light! Pink? How did you get here? How did you find out about our wedding in the first place?"

"Why the hell are you in a wedding dress, Sun?" That was Earth, who was equal parts repelled and fascinated by the cross-dressing. This was somewhat evident in that he had the beginnings of a nosebleed. Lesus proceeded to ignore him and spoke to Pink.

"Pink, he just proposed 2 hours ago. We haven't even begun the guest list yet."

Pink was slightly mollified by that answer. "Oh. But Pink had **better **be invited." She fixed Lesus and Grisia with her little-girl glare, which was actually quite intimidating. Must be all the practicing she's gotten over the years.

Grisia ignored her and addressed Blaze, who was just getting up. "Oh! Blaze! You're awake! Lesus and I are just getting married, see?

Thump. Seeing the Holy Knights faint again, Roland got rather worried. Bashing your head on the floor like that could _not_ be good for living people. "Hey, guys? They fainted again."

"Oh! Ignore them, Roland." Grisia turned to Pink. "How the chaos god did you find out that we were engaged? Have you been stalking me?"

"Nooo…" Pink replied in a tone of voice that implied she wasn't sure of her answer.

Grisia didn't believe her. "Really," He drawled. He leaned over and snatched the lollipop that Pink had somehow brought with her without getting it covered in dust when she smashed through the walls, holding it above his head. Inwardly, Grisia was contemplating whether the lollipop was magical, and if it was, how much he could sell it for.

"Nooo! Meanie Sun! Give me back my lollipop! Fine! I was stalking you!" Pink admitted tearfully, jumping up and down in an attempt to get the lollipop. This attempt was unsuccessful due the extremely poufy skirt that Grisia was wearing, which effectively prevented Pink from getting anywhere within a half a meter from Grisia. (Well, that and the fact that Pink came up to approximately Grisia's waist, at best.)

Still holding the lollipop away from Pink, Grisia took a few steps back. "Stop stalking me, or I'll have you arrested." He warned.

"So?"

"and blacklist you from every candy and toy shop in the city."

"I'll stop! I'll stop!" Pink yelled in a panic. To her, not having her sweets and lollipops was akin to a death sentence! Well, as much as a death sentence is to someone who's already dead, anyways. ( Why does Pink like strawberry lollipops so much, anyways? I thought undead creatures couldn't taste anything.)

"It's against a knight's code of honour to bully a little girl, you know." Roland frowned disapprovingly, like a parent disciplining their child.

Grisia shrugged it off. "Since when have I been a proper knight?"

Roland considered this. "Point taken."

Since Pink could no longer stalk our resident Sun Knight, she way to find another way to pass her time. If it happened to annoy Sun, that was just a bonus! She looked at Grisia's dress and came to a decision. "Your dress is not pretty enough for a wedding. Pink must get Sun a new one!" She immediately grabbed Grisia, and started dragging him off.

"What? Wait! Where are you dragging me off too? Nooo! Help! Hellllpppppp Meeeeeee!" Grisia screamed, unwilling to be dragged off to go… dress shopping, the ultimate chore.

But Pink was an ancient being, and had learned a lot of fashion over the years. She also knew it would go against her inner fangirl to _not _go shopping for a dress and pretty Sun up. That Sun didn't want her to do so was just the icing on the cake. (But you know how she loves cake.) "Don't struggle, Sun. It's for the best!" she announced cheerily as she dragged Grisia away, creating even more holes in the walls in their departure. Really, it was a wonder that the entire holy temple didn't just collapse. Her parting words to Lesus were "I'll have him back by six!"

"Nooooooooooooooooooo!" After Grisia's parting scream faded in the distance, Roland turned to Lesus.

"So. Since everyone else fainted and Grisia was dragged off by pink, what do you want to do?"

"Spar?"

"Sure."

Lesus noticed that the bodies on the floor were beginning to stir. "Oh, I think they're waking up." He said.

"Whatever. Let's just go." Roland paused. "Wow. Grisia must really be rubbing off on me."

Lesus laughed. "You'll get used to it." They left.

After Lesus and Roland had left, the Holy Knights on the floor came too. The pope was already awake, but was still crying over the expenses incurred by the gigantic Sun Knight and Pink-shaped holes in the walls. There was also Sun-shaped hole in the ceiling, but he hadn't noticed that yet. Don't tell him.

Blaze groaned, holding his head. He had a _huge_ headache. "I have the feeling that something incredibly disturbing just happened."

Earth agreed. "You know, let's just pretend that never happened."

"Sure."

"Okay."

"Yeah, let's do that."

And so life at the Holy Temple continued, semi-normally.

**^_^ ~The End~ ^_^**


End file.
